Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
