I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
