Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
