a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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