One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
