He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
