Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
