i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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