i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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