got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
