It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
