You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
