And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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