I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
