every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
