Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
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I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
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Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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