I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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