i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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