You're completely useless in the revolution.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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