i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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