We're like a lot better than the average bears
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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