I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize