We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
