I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
All I want is dick and wine.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
