Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
