Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
