Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
