guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
