He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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