Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
