Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
