But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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