i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
