I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I have tasted many bathrooms
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize