spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
