even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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