She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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