well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
