"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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