ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
false alarm, still single
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
