no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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