If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
