You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i wish my penis had a tongue
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
