i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
