There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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