My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
