There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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