her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This baby is an asshole
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize