I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize