I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
