Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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