Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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