and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
