i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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