you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
