the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
