I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
