I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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