Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
he's single and there are thong briefs.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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