I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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