I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
