He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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