it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
