It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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