Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
