i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
