Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.

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  (805): My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family. http://tfl.nu/yv4f
  Replies (29) Good night (5708) Bad night (871)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.

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  (785): You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early. http://tfl.nu/h3ys
  Replies (21) Good night (1167) Bad night (3862)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick

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  (469): Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick http://tfl.nu/zqfp
  Replies (34) Good night (1449) Bad night (5681)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out

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  (440): planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out http://tfl.nu/zgao
  Replies (22) Good night (1755) Bad night (3622)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.

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  (551): 1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one. http://tfl.nu/vtrz
  Replies (51) Good night (6235) Bad night (869)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.

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  (850): All of my current injuries can be related back to sex. http://tfl.nu/ncc6
  Replies (14) Good night (5411) Bad night (1048)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.

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  (361): I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina. http://tfl.nu/9b7c
  Replies (17) Good night (3477) Bad night (1987)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.

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  (662): Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference. http://tfl.nu/teq1
  Replies (7) Good night (2481) Bad night (758)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere

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  (907): I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him (307): Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere http://tfl.nu/182x
  Replies (4) Good night (1215) Bad night (612)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.

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  (801): Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated. http://tfl.nu/dcl8
  Replies (6) Good night (1860) Bad night (817)
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  (925): View more from California

  she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat

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  (925): she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat http://tfl.nu/5es2
  Replies (6) Good night (727) Bad night (677)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.

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  (303): Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE. http://tfl.nu/ysj2
  Replies (13) Good night (1531) Bad night (525)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.

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  (480): And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold. http://tfl.nu/2ktu
  Replies (5) Good night (327) Bad night (649)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  ...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..

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  (815): ...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour.. http://tfl.nu/q3x4
  Replies (6) Good night (699) Bad night (463)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?

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  (217): Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient? http://tfl.nu/tlkh
  Replies (0) Good night (177) Bad night (242)

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