I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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