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you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
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