He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.