those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.