did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize