ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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