One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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